Full Bloom Blog

As previously mentioned, I am a planner. Big time. Whether we’re talking about planning a day’s activities, a monthly activity calendar, or my child’s future career, I am always thinking and planning ahead. I am the type of person that frequently gets “Thy will be done” mixed up with “my will be done”. It’s not great, but it’s honest. I believe that this is one of the biggest areas that the Lord has been working on me all my life, especially after I got married and had my four children in five years. It took a HUGE mental and attitude shift for me to continuously hand over my future to the Lord. It’s never a one time decision. It’s a constant choice to relinquish control. Obviously, there are plenty of things that are good to be prepared and responsible for but there is a difference in mindset when you acknowledge who holds the future and who is in control.

Since the beginning of the Corona Virus, I’m sure that I’m not the only one experiencing this release of control on a whole new level. Everything I dreamed that this summer would look like including planning my middle daughter’s kindergarten graduation and our spring recital at the dance studio was washed away. Not even in a tidal wave. It felt like the rug kept getting pulled out from under us time after time after time. Don’t get me wrong, there were so many blessings in it all! But watching hopes, plans, and dreams get changed and crushed multiple times over got tiresome. Not that this was God’s plan for everyone to suffer and struggle, but HE can certainly use it and we can all learn and grow from it if we draw near to Him and seek Him.

As I have gone through different ups and downs in my own heart during all of this, I have realized that the more I seek the Lord and read his Word, the more peace I experience. It goes beyond COVID though. I have been praying for and anxiously awaiting answers about next steps in life for some time now. There is a stirring in my heart. It’s difficult to describe, but it’s like a feeling that change is coming. This same feeling is what prompted me to write and launch my blog and it’s what helped me to have the courage to begin my own baking co. last year. That’s just the tip of the iceberg though of all the wild dreams and goals I have swirling around in my head. I pray for guidance and for the Lord’s will do be done in my life constantly, but not patiently. Here I am, almost six months after the beginning of our initial lockdown and the Lord is renewing His message of relinquishing control again.

In the past week, I have spent more and more time with the Lord, worshipping, praying, and releasing. This morning I woke up with a peace in my heart. Like something that the Lord has been saying all along clicked and made sense to me for the first time. Truthfully, I have known this for some time but it was really more just head knowledge. Today, my heart joined the party. I don’t have to see the whole map, I just need to take steps of faith one at a time. He will make my direction known and His plans will be revealed over time. I don’t need to run around like crazy trying to make things happen. He already has a brilliant plan for me and my family and all I need to do is take one step at a time.

Praying that you also have a chance to give your burdens to the Lord and that He will bring you peace and direction at this time. He is a God of the details and He cares about you and has an incredible plan for your life. May you know it and may you know Him.