Full Bloom Blog

I don’t know about you, but I feel like we live in an age in which manners and simple human decency are mostly, but not entirely, lost. I don’t consider myself especially old fashioned, but I do believe that there are many practices that should be revived and taught to our next (and maybe current) generation. The way I explain it to my kids is that manners aren’t meant to be a strict set of rules to make everyone uncomfortable or to frustrate individuals. I tell my kids that manners are what makes you enjoyable to be around. Have you ever sat across the dinner table from someone who chews with his/her mouth open? It can be any range of uncomfortable to downright disgusting. And it certainly makes it difficult to enjoy that person’s company!

I will totally admit that my kids are definitely a work in progress in this area. Erik and I are constantly reminding them of basic manners at the table and it feels like a never ending battle. Every once in a while, however, we will be dining with friends or out at a restaurant and I see one of my kiddos choose to wait until they have finished a bite to share a story and I just fill up with joy. Not pride that I am such a brilliant mother, but that my efforts are not lost and the values, manners and principals I try to raise my children upon just might stick. Long story probably too long, it’s a process. We all just need to try a little.

Here is my basic run down of top habits and manners to teach your kiddos. The vast majority revolve around time at the table, but if your kids are anything like mine, that’s where they struggle the most on a daily basis. Take some, leave some, modify some, just make them your own. Perhaps this next generation will be one that is one of revival and respect.

Let’s start with the simple and most likely obvious – but definitely worth mentioning. Between time at the dance studio, volunteering at my kiddos elementary school occasionally, and of course my own cuties; I see a lot of kids eating on a regular basis. So believe me when I say, this is definitely worth mentioning.

Seems to go hand in hand with the prior rule, but equally important. Torsten especially, has been talking with this mouth full a lot lately. Granted, he’s only four and still has a lot to learn, but I have seen food fall out of his mouth while trying to explain the car track he had set up that day while chewing his Mac and cheese. It’s horrifying. But surprisingly, this is not an issue just among four year olds. Finish your bite and then share your anecdote or ask for the mashed potatoes to be passed.

I actually saw a grown man licking his fingers after dipping them in his beverage at a restaurant recently. Uuuuuuggghhhh. Even aside from international pandemic issues- it’s. Just. Not. Good. Once you lick your fingers and then touch something, you have effectively licked said item. Whether it’s a door handle or the bottle of ketchup that lives on the table at the diner- I don’t want to touch where your spit hand has been. Germs aside, it’s just not very becoming. Same with your utensils! Leave the licking to the puppies. There is almost zero reason I should be looking at someone’s tongue at the dinner table. That brings me to my next point…

Sadly, my oldest is notorious for this issue. It actually became quite problematic when we were at Disney several months ago. Annabelle uses her pants to wipe her hands ALL. THE. TIME. Because our trip was a little colder than we had expected, she had about three pairs of pants for a whole week and by the end of the trip the thighs of her pants were a disgusting site. Not only will you potentially ruin your clothes doing this, but you will smell like food all the time. I don’t know about you, but I do not find that to be a good thing *most* of the time. It can also be a good practice to give your face/chin a “just in case” dab from time to time, especially when dining on saucey foods or soup. Don’t wait for your friend to tell you that you have a marinara goatee to tidy up.

This I find to be a HUGE problem in our current culture across the board. Old, young, and everything in between- there is a lack of looking others in the eye everywhere. Blame it on the fact that we’re all too involved in our own handheld devices or an overall upswing in introverts but either way, I think this is quite possibly one of the most important things any of us should practice let alone teach our kiddos. Looking someone in the eye when they are talking shows respect and interest. Eye contact reminds you that the person you are chatting with or being addressed by is in fact a person too and that warrants respect in and of itself.

I am most definitely on the list of people who need to be more attentive to this particular practice. It is another way of showing respect to the person speaking and that you’re actually listening to what they have to say. Whether its adults interrupting adults, or kids interrupting adults, both show a lack of interest in what the speaker is saying. Clearly, you’re not listening to what’s being said if all you can think about is what you have to say. In regards to teaching your kiddos, I find it very important to let them know that unless it is a true emergency, they may not interrupt an adult conversation. It all comes back to respect.

Did your mom tell you this before you went over to your friends house when you were little? Mine definitely did! Although, it did actually take me a couple years to realize what the “Q’s” stand for. Haha! Maybe you even say this to your kids now but it’s important that we emphasize the necessity of manners when it comes to asking for something by leading with “please” and upon receiving something, we respond with “thank you” every. single. time. I take immediate notice of peanuts that thank me when I give them something. It never goes unappreciated.

This one might be born out of the battles at my own house. Annabelle is a busy body (literally, not the gossipy kind) and Torsten is, well, a boy! Giselle is in a category all of her own. In the middle of the meal, I could look over and she would be laying on the floor of the living room playing with her stuffed animals. The rule of sitting on your bottom, on the chair, with two legs under the table seems like a lot of very specific directions, but they are totally necessary at my house. It prevents the *half standing, one knee on, rocking the chair* style as well as *sitting two feet on the chair with two knees above the table* and other various assundry styles of not actually sitting at the dinner table. Not only does it minimize messes but it also shows interest and desire to be a part of the meal time.

So there it is, my list of top manners to teach your kiddos (and mine!). I know that there are lots of others I could have included, but let’s consider this a great jumping off point. And if you’re anything like me, sometimes I need to check myself on these things before I can really correct them in my kiddos. The best way to teach is by modeling how you want your kids to act. They will learn that people deserve respect (especially elders) and they should be treated well; like human beings. And maybe, that’s just what our culture needs a little bit more of right now. All people are designed in the image of God and are loved by Him, so in the very least, we should treat them with respect and that can all start with basic manners. I promise that your kids will notice how you treat others and that will speak the loudest of all. Teach em right, teach em young.

Start children off on the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it.

-Proverbs 22:6